Unprofessional Library Quips

If you really say these items to patrons, you're going too far and you need a break. 

Visa/Mastercard being used to pay fines...

Yes, our deal with the devil is now complete and you too can be charged 14.9% interest on your $1.60 library fine!

Would you like to upsize your fines?

Didn't your dad just give you this card for emergencies?

Phone Calls

Are you Jesus, because she doesn't want to talk to you unless you are.

Can I take a message?  She says she's not in.

Are you Jesus, because she doesn't want to talk to you unless you are.

Can I take a message?  She says she's not in.